* the me *
Jasmine kan
21++ yrs old
o9o391
Pisces
A goat which can swim; a fish which cant swim
Cantonese
Zhangde-ren(2003)
Merahan(2007)
Nyp-food science (2011)
HK tv drama freak
High school musical fanatic
J5Y
ME!!!

* the loves <3 *
Family
Summer
Frends
Orange
Happiness
Sleep
Rainbow
Swimming

* the hates(yucks!) *
Politics
2 sided ppl (seriously cant stand them)
Sarcasm
Betrayers
Tao gay

* the wishes *
#1 Everyone happy all the times
#2 Get into university(if can)
#3 Go back to childhood
#4 Class gatherings
#5 Pulau ubin outing wif clique
#6 More happy times
#7 Buy HK dramas
#8 Have the chance to see snow
#0 Own a series of la pi xiao xin cd
#10 Increase confidence
#11 Contentment
#12 Less disappointment
#13 Slim down (Hahaha)
#14 Frend wif him agn

* tag *



* the friends *
Bernice
Caryn
Catherine
Charmine
Delia
Fangchun
FS0803
Hui chen
Huiwen
Huiying
Jasmine Kan's past
Jiahao
Jiejie
Junxian
Laichoon
Murphy
Paul
Pearlyn
Peywen
Peywen's past
Ruiying
Shihui
Shiyun
Wanwen
Wilson
Weizhang
Woonching

* the archives *
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
February 2010
April 2010
May 2010
July 2010
August 2010
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
October 2011
March 2012
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
March 2014
May 2015

* credits *
design | LyLe
image | kasy
photobucket
macromedia dreamweaver mx
adobe photoshop cs2

do not remove the credits!
remove it and u'll ded

* Wednesday, May 29, 2013 *
Okay. I miss him. I miss him terriblyyyyyy. HAIZ!

 Went navy open hse on 18/05/13. It was fun, tiring n I threw some or a tiny tantrum at sh I was fed up due to tired lah. Kkz 1 of the main thing. I saw him!! Before going to the navy open hse I was hoping to see him. N I really did saw him!!!!! He was wif his family (grateful for me wen he wasnt wif any gal or his gf. I dunno or watever lahhh)

 Okay. I was not exaggerating. I was so tired before I saw him.i told sh lets go other places, lik another part of the open hse. Until until I saw him in the opp direction we were heading!! Immediately we u-turned (forcefully demanded by me) hahaha. We were lik stalking him. I really wanna see him. At tat moment, I didnt even think of approaching him to sae hi or whatsoever. I jus wanted to look at him from far. We followed him for a couple of min from a dist (meanwhile sh kept saying she wanna go help me approach him. Lol) until I force myself to stop following him and walked our own way.

 At the moment wen I saw him, seriously my mind turned blank! I jus wan to hav few more looks of him n tats enough. Bt bt bt bt bt I dun hav de guts the courage to approach him or even wave at him. I was even hoping he didnt see me at all.

 We walked our own way n sh wanna take photo wif mascots. N yeah, he's v near us. I was wearing she's shades (thinking he wont recognize me coz im wearing shades). Okay I took photo wif de mascot too. He was still there, near us, a dist I can cfm he can spot me. I struggled abit thinking whether to take off the shades or not. Coz he was so near n he surely spot me if I took off de shades. Kkz I took off the shades n took photo wif 1 of the mascot.

 I knew it!! I knew he wont approach me n whatsoever. I knew it!! Kkz nvm after tat we went the other sides of the open hse. I hav to sae im pretty impressed by all the navy ppl ( I dunno de proper name for it) salute them! N the vessels too. Damn big n complicated? Numerous n countless of woah!! Woo!! jus came out from me. Im seriously pretty impressed. Thx sh for asking me for to the navy open hse. I've gained alot n sry agn for the tantrum thrown at u :(

 Navy open hse was definitely an open eyed experience for me :)

 Few days past. Those normal working days agn.

 Thurs (23/05/13)
Passed some things to fishy bx. After tat wanna hav dinner at toastbox. Hy saw me (hahaha seriously purely coincidence!) n she somehow pei me for dinner. We chatted throughout my dinner even after went back home tat time. We literally stand at the traffic light near my hse n continue our chat. Least expected hy will tell me, share wif me bout de guy tat bothered her for a long time. I told her bout him too. I told hy alot bout him. While talking bout him, my brain auto triggered almost 90% of the memories I still rmb bout him (actually I rmb really alot alot. De good n de bad memories bout us)

 After tat super loooooooong chat, I naturally think of him, even more.

 24/05/13
Went clubbing wif huiwen, kayson, liyun and hy. Guess wat!? I saw a guy lik him. Not looks lah. Its de feeling. So almost throughout de night, I was looking at him quite frequently actually. Hahaha

 27/05/13
Had night round. Blah blah blah. Do those normal crap work. We needa walked thru tis pavement wif tis slight slope. My colleague ask me to be careful wif the steps coz is late night n dark too. Kkz I gt slight night blindness. I was careful wif de steps so everything was okay lah

 The main thing - at tat v moment, I tot of him ( ya I noe, again!!) I recalled we went to Henderson waves to chat ( he initiated it. Bt I noe at tat time, it will be the last time we will be tat close agn. N sadly, it was true. My heart ached wen I typed tis). We left Henderson waves quite late. I think 1 or 2+am. We need to walk down de long flight of stairs to go home. He offered me to hold to wrist or hand. Initially I jus grabbed his sleeves ( he was wearing jacket lahh n i dun even dare to touch him lah.)then he sae to hold onto his hand or wrist ( safer I guess) kkz I hold onto my wrist n he guided me all the way down to the ground n send me home.

 Tats de part!! Wen went back home from night round, I gt soooo emo n posted " same same bt different. I regretted. Deeply! :( " Yes! I regretted it! All because the things I did, the stupid things I've done. If it wasnt my stupidity, things might be the same. Or at least I still gt to contact wif u (or not. I dunno lah). If it wasnt me doing all de stupid things, things wont be so bad n I wont be suffering right now.

 Yaya. Alot my frends asked me to move on. I've tried! It's difficult! Throughout these yrs, I didnt see any guy I noe better than him. I told my frends de person I wan is him. My frends told me there are other trees out there n someone else will create better memories wif me. Bt I replied saying I wanted de someone to be him.

 These few days I've been thinking soooooo much. It brings myself down too. I always encourage my frends to try. Never try never noe mah. Bt wen comes to myself, I dun dare. I really dun hav de courage to at least try. Mayb coz I noe ( or im scared) he will turned coldly to me, reject me completely. I cant think positively. I cant. I noe, mayb subconsciously I noe tat he's avoiding me, dun wan to gt in touch wif me. After the navy open hse, I noe he wanna totally cut off any relations from me. I noe! I onli bring trouble to him. I dun wan to disturb him from his peaceful life anymore. I really dun wan. I jus wanna secretly look at him from far. Tats jus all I wished for.

 Mayb till he gt a gf, I'll completely stop n finally move on? Mayb.

 I typed alot. Tis is onli part of it. Too tired to writ more. Anyways tis blog is onli for me to view. ( or some other ppl hu still rmb I gt a blog or mayb... Impossible lahhh tis type of thing wont happen to me de :) )

 Almost 2am in the morning. Needa slp n think lesser. Tml then continue. Hahaha. Nitez :)


i am who i am
1:13 AM
* Tuesday, May 7, 2013 *
穿上洋裝看著手錶 時間快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次約會來臨了
金色的陽光灑滿人行道 換了新脣膏把頭髮弄好
要你看到我的好

 喜歡看你走路充滿自信 說話時候你的專注眼神
溫柔的表情笑容裡的天真
我相信 找不到有比你更好的人 你心裡理想情人是幾分
是否也會有我的份

 好想知道你的100分 會給怎樣的人
親愛的你不要再陌生 增加我戲份
我想問 親愛的你把感情升等 朋友變成情人
可不可以 告訴我標準 不要讓我一直等

 喜歡看你走路充滿自信 說話時候你的專注眼神
溫柔的表情笑容裡的天真
我相信 找不到有比你更好的人 你心裡理想情人是幾分
是否也會有我的份

 好想知道你的100分 會給怎樣的人
親愛的你不要再陌生 增加我戲份
我想問 親愛的你把感情升等 朋友變成情人
可不可以 告訴我標準 不要我一直等
聽著那時間滴答的走 對街的你在點頭
好像一個夢 漸漸 走到我前頭

 好想知道你的100分 會給怎樣的人
親愛的你不要再陌生 增加我戲份
我想問 親愛的你把感情升等 朋友變成情人
可不可以 告訴我標準 不要讓我一直等


i am who i am
11:22 PM
* Sunday, May 5, 2013 *
Ya. I do miss u alot. I really wanna see u agn sooo damn much.

I wanna love a person, a person tat noe my existence n feel de same for me.

Bt thinking bout tat, am I a good gf?

Im not confident to be 1. Haha

So I always think n still insisting in tis:

被爱幸福 ，还是爱人幸福？

My ans till now is 爱人比较幸福. Coz it will always be me n onli me. No other ppl will be affected.


Jus saying :)


i am who i am
7:14 PM
* Wednesday, May 1, 2013 *
Watched iron man 3 wif wanwen ytd. It's a damn nice movie. I wonder why ppl kept saying -ve comments bout the movie. Mayb I shall start watching those marvel n DC movies. Hmm. I've missed all those blockbuster movies such as avatar n avengers. Can u imagine I actually did not watch those movies?!?!?!? Hahahahaha The reason why I watched iron man 3 coz I watched iron man 2 on tv. I was completely mesmerized by the male lead - Robert downey jr. V v man n charming. Hahaha.

 Today is labour day so means rest day for labourers. So basically I rested at home. Apart from tat, i've baked banana muffins. Woohoo!! Damn nice I can sae. Hahaha Bt abit oily lah. Hahaha

 Met up wif ber. Pass her banana muffins n my love note to her. Ber will love it! Hahaha

 Kkz. Now im thinking wen to tender n wen start look for job. Coz sept start sch le. I kept thinking it for the past wk loh. Damn sianz. I wanna leave the office asap. I dun wan re-contract coz I dun wan see de OV face tat long. Im so sick of tis job. So many voices of myself ask me to tender quickly. Bt I cant, haiz. For now, I thinking of tender in mid july before my contract ends then go for my hol. After tat then start look for jobs. Lik tat I'll hav arnd 1 mth break before sch starts. Nonono, way too long break for me le. Bt bt bt I dun wan to tender in Aug le. Oh no, still gt 3 whole mths to suffer?!?!?!?! Omg!!! 3 mths lehhh. Still need to face de ov for 3 mths?!?!?!? Bt guess tis will be the best currently.

 End july my bkk trip (agn). Hahaha after tat then tender (by then my contract will be renewed agn, or not (if OV hate me until dun wan put me to perm or re-contract me. Bt I doubt she gt the authority to do so) then for another mth of notice. It will be arnd early sept le. Then I'll slack for arnd 2 wks then start sch loh. Meanwhile during the slack period, I'll look for (mayb) jobs ba.

 Hmm tats all! Argh!! Tml work agnnnn. Super sianz 
I still miss u :) U are one of the thing tat keep my smile on my face :)
Super duper nice banana muffin :D




i am who i am
11:27 PM